You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I smell stomach acid.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
