i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You're like the curious george of whores
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
