I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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