so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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