You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
