he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
