are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
