Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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