I love black thongs
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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