He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
