Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
