i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
