They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
