I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
