I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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