a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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