ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
