I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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