I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
