You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
