im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
