Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
