My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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