people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
