he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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