sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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