i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
