Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
