This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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