i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
