That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
