My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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