If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
