wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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