party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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