I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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