I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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