his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
