your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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