Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun

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(813): View more from Florida

she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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(913): View more from Kansas

So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

(901): View more from Tennessee

But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.

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