dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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