Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
