btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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