Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
