Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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