Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
