Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
