I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
