do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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