need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
